The terms Boss and Leader are often used interchangeably in everyday conversation to refer to the same thing…more accurately termed a “manager”. However, these different terms don’t really mean the same thing. Simply considering the actual meanings of the words indicate that their focus is very different.
For this conversation, I consider the terms “Manager” and “Boss” to be roughly synonymous because they both hint at the idea that people need to be told what to do, or managed. This implies that people who work for a boss or manager are not capable of managing themselves or doing what should be done on their own. In contrast, the term “Leader” implies that they don’t have to be told what to do or how to do it, but instead need some sort of overall guidance. In blunt terms, a Boss is oppressive, a Leader is empowering.
Putting someone in charge of making sure things get done properly does not make them a leader. It is entirely possible (and I would assert even commonplace) for someone in charge to succeed at getting everything done without showing the slightest hint of leadership. This is done by setting demands, threatening reprisals (implied or stated) and checking up on progress. While this is often an effective way to get things done, it is not an effective way to grow people to their potential.
It helps to think of this concept in terms of parents and children. Not because leaders or bosses are parents and employees are children, but because of the parallels between different approaches to relating to people are very similar.
The Disciplinarian
Some parents raise their kids by strict rules and unquestionable dictate, never tolerating deviation or dissent from their children. While this is generally effective at producing law-abiding, well mannered adults, it is not very effective at producing self-confident, free-thinking adults.
People who grew up in a strict household and didn’t take the path of rebellion are usually self-disciplined and rarely stray onto the wrong side of the law. As citizens, they are an acceptable product of parenting, but they often lack the self-confidence and freedom of thought to do anything that does not provide a rigid structure of expectations. Often children raised under this approach respect their parents’ authority but resent the dictatorial methods and distance themselves from their parents once they are adults.
The Mentor
Another type of parent doesn’t demand strict compliance with rules, but does hold their children to some real-world standards of behavior, morality, and common decency. These parents tend to provide guidance to their children while allowing them to explore other ways of doing things or expressing themselves. They don’t have a rigid set of rules, but there are lines of behavior that the children are not allowed to cross.
People who grew up under this type of parenting approach seem to fare very well in society, They have a healthy respect for authority and other people but are self-confident enough in their own thoughts and abilities to confidently do things the way they see as best. They usually respect their parents, not as an authority figure, but as someone who is looking after the child’s best interest and they tend to remain close to their parents throughout their lives.
So what does all of this have to do with the Boss vs. Leader comparison? Glad you asked.
The Boss
A “Boss” is someone who is put in charge of people and maintains order and productivity through direct task assignment and sets of rigid acceptable means of achieving goals. They usually draw on their own experience to determine the one correct way any task should be done and will strongly oppose other approaches. To a boss, the ends justify the means in all things. We are all here to do a job and the only thing that matters is that the job gets done.
In these ways, a Boss is like The Disciplinarian parent, and usually ends up with the same results. Things do get done and they are done in an acceptable way, but the people who work for a Boss tend to do only what is required of them since deviation from the “right” way may bring on a reprimand. Since they are discouraged from re-framing the problems being solved and coming up with new and novel solutions, they don’t grow as much professionally as someone who works under other approaches. Because of this, employees tend to respect a Boss out of fear of reprisals which is a very thin level of respect.
The Leader
A “Leader” is someone who sets clear expectations for her employees and then helps them when they fail to meet them. She cares as much about their careers as she does about her own. She doesn’t tell people what to do, or even how to do it but she does freely give advice when it looks like things are not going as well as they should. She will work more closely with the people she is leading and give constant feedback on not only what they can do better, but what they are doing right already.
In these ways, a Leader is like the Mentor parent. The goal is not just to complete the task, but to do it in a way that enriches the employee’s life through learning new techniques, thinking through complex problems, and having the freedom to try unconventional or unproven solutions. She will sometimes advise against a certain approach but allow the employee to attempt them anyway. If they succeed, she is happy that it worked, not angry that they didn’t do it her way. If they fail, she is ready to help them figure out why and how to avoid the failure the next time. Because of this, her people tend to respect her not out of fear, but appreciation and their respect is usually much deeper and dedicated than employees working under the other approaches. This can often make up for the additional time that is taken teaching and advising when it comes to crunch time because the employees appreciate the attention they have been given and are willing to go the extra mile for her.
Different Approaches – Same Results?
Notice that both of these approaches have a good chance of satisfying the primary goal of “get stuff done”. The real difference is in how they affect the people who are doing the work. A Boss is not effective at helping employees grow through problem-solving and critical thinking. His focus is the task at hand, and it is the employee’s responsibility to do it without making him look bad.
Leaders manage to get the job done as well, but also gain the respect and loyalty of their employees along the way. They are seen as a trusted adviser and mentor and as a result, employees don’t want to let them down. While employees will rarely do more than they are required to do for a Boss or a Manager, they will go far above and beyond the requirements for an effective leader.
Are you a Boss or a Leader?
Boss |
Leader |
| Makes important decisions for the team | Leads team members to the best decision |
| Tells how things should be done | Shows how things should be done |
| Demands answers, not problems | Guides employee through pros and cons of different approaches |
| Holds employees accountable for team and individual failures | Takes responsibility for team and individual failures |
| Says “Just get it done” | Says “Let’s just get it done” |
| Requires daily status updates | Already knows daily status |
| Tells employees exactly what they need to do to succeed | Adapts to find the right path to success for the individual |
| Says “You should already know this” | Says “Let’s dig into this so you better understand” |
| Picks a “Star Player” who will get the job done | Helps the whole team pull together to get the job done |
| Asks for three solutions to a problem | First asks what problem is being solved |
| Steps in to prevent any failures | Allows small failures and then walks through why they happened |
| Has standards to be met | Shows why standards are important |
| Keeps a list of “strikes” for each employee | Keeps a list of “home runs” for each employee |
| Tells | Discusses |
| Dictates how it should be done | Solicits ideas of how it should be done |
| Tears down | Builds up |
| Asks employees to “take one for the team” | Pushes back against unreasonable demands on employees |
| Rewards employees who agree | Encourages employees to disagree |
| Demands “110%” of an employee’s effort | Expects the best work an employee is capable of |
| Lets blame roll downhill | Insulates the team from harmful feedback |
| Demands conformance to management’s decisions no matter what | Defends employees against unreasonable policies |
| Constantly checks on team progress | Trusts the team to do the job |
| Is “all business” | Encourages fun |
| Defends the “right way” to do things | Listens to other ways of doing things |
| Learns from their peers and bosses | Learns from everyone |
| Follows chain of command | Is open to anyone, anytime |
After looking over the list above, which side do you fall on? Are you more of a Boss or more of a Leader? In what areas are you tending towards “Bossy” behavior?
I recommend picking three or four items that you would like to move from the “Boss” side to the “Leader” side in and focus on changing those specific behaviors over the next few weeks. As it becomes more natural and you learn to respect and trust your employees more, you will find that they are learning to respect and trust you more as well.
As they like to say in meetings: WIN-WIN!